The pace that I was going before everything shut down was detrimental. Present husband and father, full-time job, producing a monthly comedy show (selling tickets, promoting, booking, etc), and still writing and performing standup. Even though I welcomed a break, there was still an effect on me stopping a lifestyle cold turkey. A lifestyle that I'd been living for the last four years. I've performed literally hundreds of times a year, and then... nothing. I have this survival thing, that I consider God-given, where I just keep moving forward. Thing is: I may still be bleeding, may need to nurse some wounds and triage, but I keep it moving. Then, I'll notice some defect. Some new bad habit, some heaviness that seems to come out of nowhere. Thing is, it didn't come out no where. I'm not always acknowledging the weight of the blows I've been taking. You sprinkle in the ridiculousness of America's racism, political landscape, and constant bickering on top OF A WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC---and you got a man who needs to address some things. Maybe that's part of the reason why I'm writing this blog again. Maybe that's why I started knocking over liquor stores, 7-11's, and Payday Loan spots (Wearing a mask, of course. Safety first).
In our work-oriented culture, taking breaks can give us anxiety. Fear that we're missing out, or will miss-out if we're not constantly working ourselves into exhaustion. But, fear of taking a sabbath, is a lack of faith. A lack of trust in God. A lack of trust in the process. Grind hard. Just rest first.